It started out so great. I woke up happy and felt so loved. But now i feel a sense of nervousness and great void.
My birthday just passed thirty or so minutes ago. I am now 22 years old. Not one wiser and not dumber either. I feel myself the same as last year and the year before that. I feel as if I am going around in a circle and I haven't been neither here nor there. My self doubt and sadness stems from Lo's parents. I feel that I have done more than I ever had to, to please people who had done nothing for me. I feel this great sadness that they may never be the family I seek in the future because they feel so cold and distant. If they were any body else, I would drop them from my life because they are if not, strangers just two years earlier. They feel like strangers till this day. However, they are Lo's parents and I want with all in me to have them included in family events and just in our lives for the future and now. So, I will keep trying. I feel so bad inside everytime but I will continue to try. I want a healthy and good family and need to work at it. Family takes alot of work and when it is great, life is great. SO, I will try. Tomorrow is after all, another day.